Today was one of those busy Mommy days that I would not give up for the whole world. First F had an early flight for a conference, it is just me and C at home. We had to be at the Soccer field at 8:30 for the end of the season and "tournament". C played really well but let in a goal for the first time this season. She is still beating herself up about it. She takes soccer so serious. I brought a Kashi bar to the field and had that for breakfast. After soccer, it was home and clean up before J and H came to pick us up for a Movie and Lunch. H and C have been taking dance together for awhile and really like each other. J is a really cool mom who is alot like me. She is about my age and it is really nice to have some one to talk. We took the girls to see "Mirror Mirror". We all really like it. It remided me of the "Ever After", they changed up the story and made it very enjoyable!!
After the movie we went to a local restaurant and I had a Salad with grilled chicken. Calories 290. It was really good. After the reastaurant we went to the toy store next door and the girls had bloast. They did not want the day to end and to be honest neither did I, but I had so much stuff to do at home and more events planned for tomorrow. It is really nice to have a friend to hang out with and we are planning the next play date and Mom's night out. It is really nice since we are both actively losing weight so we are in sync about food and stuff. It is very nice!!
Dinner tonight was chicken breast and vegetables and some avocado. I loved it!! Gosh I am positive today...
Talk to you later...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
It shows on my face..
F said today that it shows on my face that I feel better about myself and I guess that it does. I am happy that my body is cooperating and allowing this weight to leave. I love that I find it easier to do things that used to be harder for me.
So today was National Cleavage Day and 5 and 1/2 months ago, I would never thinks of showing my cleavage. It is not that I thought my cleavage did not look good, it was that I did not feel at all sexy. Today I put on a shirt that showed my cleavage and went out shopping for drinks and snacks for C's last soccer game of the season. I felt good about myself. That is not to say that others might not still view me as this extremely over weight woman, but I felt cute today!!
I had a Kashi bar for breakfast and Oatmeal and grapes for lunch. Dinner was a chicken breast stir fried veggies. I use very little oil for the stir fry. I really enjoy eating healthy.
Tomorrow is a busy day. F has to fly to Atlanta tomorrow for a conference and C has an early soccer game. I am going to try and make it to the weight in times tomorrow, but lord knows...C has to come first, since I am gone so much. I really need to clean my house, but I also want to make sure C has a good time. She wants to see "Mirror, Mirror"...
Talk to you later...
So today was National Cleavage Day and 5 and 1/2 months ago, I would never thinks of showing my cleavage. It is not that I thought my cleavage did not look good, it was that I did not feel at all sexy. Today I put on a shirt that showed my cleavage and went out shopping for drinks and snacks for C's last soccer game of the season. I felt good about myself. That is not to say that others might not still view me as this extremely over weight woman, but I felt cute today!!
I had a Kashi bar for breakfast and Oatmeal and grapes for lunch. Dinner was a chicken breast stir fried veggies. I use very little oil for the stir fry. I really enjoy eating healthy.
Tomorrow is a busy day. F has to fly to Atlanta tomorrow for a conference and C has an early soccer game. I am going to try and make it to the weight in times tomorrow, but lord knows...C has to come first, since I am gone so much. I really need to clean my house, but I also want to make sure C has a good time. She wants to see "Mirror, Mirror"...
Talk to you later...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Getting my swagger back!!
Sorry it has been a couple of days since I blogged...It is always harder when I am LA, just because I am exhausted when I get back to the hotel...I have been eating healthy so I thought I would share some of my funny and cute stories from this week instead.
I got locked out of my hotel room on the balcony. I have no clue how it happened, but there I was stuck out in the cold with my cell phones in the room. I was tempted for a second to climb over the walls separating the balconies to get to the a door, but then I looked down and realized a fall from the 3 floor of hotel onto the cement would have been bad idea. Luckily I was able to flagged someone down to get me help and after 45 minutes out in the cold I was let back in my room,
I have been getting lots of "God you look great" comments this week, which of course was great for my self esteem and helped me get a little swagger back. I noticed that I am walking differently. When I was 100 pounds heavier, I walked in a way not to draw attention to myself. I noticed this week that I am getting the slight swing in my hips back and feeling over all a little sexier.
Today I was outside waiting for my cab, when a nice looking 40 something guy came up and started a conversation with me. Asking me what I do and so on and then he popped the question, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" I politely declined saying I was waiting for my cab. He responded with, "No seriously, Can I buy you a cup of coffee and maybe some dinner?" I again declined and I pointed to my wedding rings and told him that I am very married. His response, "Is he here with you?" I told him no but that it did not matter because I am happily married. Luckily right then my cab arrived.
I also found my post weight loss shoes...I have not worn high heel is forever for 2 reasons. Once it is much harder to wear them when you are very over weight because all that weight falls on the ball of your feet and hurts much quicker and secondly I am very tall, like 6'0" and my husband is only 2 inches taller than me so high heels are not in the cards, but I am changing the rules for these shoes...
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I mean wouldn't you change the rules for these hot shoes!!!! I am going to totally buy them when I get there!! I may not wear them often, but I will wear them somewhere when I want to draw attention to my new found hotness!!
Okay time to go and pack to go back home!!!
Talk to you later....
I got locked out of my hotel room on the balcony. I have no clue how it happened, but there I was stuck out in the cold with my cell phones in the room. I was tempted for a second to climb over the walls separating the balconies to get to the a door, but then I looked down and realized a fall from the 3 floor of hotel onto the cement would have been bad idea. Luckily I was able to flagged someone down to get me help and after 45 minutes out in the cold I was let back in my room,
I have been getting lots of "God you look great" comments this week, which of course was great for my self esteem and helped me get a little swagger back. I noticed that I am walking differently. When I was 100 pounds heavier, I walked in a way not to draw attention to myself. I noticed this week that I am getting the slight swing in my hips back and feeling over all a little sexier.
Today I was outside waiting for my cab, when a nice looking 40 something guy came up and started a conversation with me. Asking me what I do and so on and then he popped the question, "Can I buy you a cup of coffee?" I politely declined saying I was waiting for my cab. He responded with, "No seriously, Can I buy you a cup of coffee and maybe some dinner?" I again declined and I pointed to my wedding rings and told him that I am very married. His response, "Is he here with you?" I told him no but that it did not matter because I am happily married. Luckily right then my cab arrived.
I also found my post weight loss shoes...I have not worn high heel is forever for 2 reasons. Once it is much harder to wear them when you are very over weight because all that weight falls on the ball of your feet and hurts much quicker and secondly I am very tall, like 6'0" and my husband is only 2 inches taller than me so high heels are not in the cards, but I am changing the rules for these shoes...
Okay time to go and pack to go back home!!!
Talk to you later....
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Back to the grind...
I am back to LA tomorrow. I had every intention of doing yoga today, but we were out shopping and time got away for me. By the time we got home I had missed class. Planning on doing some at the hotel room this week and picking it up next week.
I have eaten really healthy today as usual. I actually feel really good, especially after I spent yesterday beating myself up mentally. It is a little crazy can send me back to those feelings of being inadequate that I grew up with and F did not mean to do that at all.
I hate leaving C, she has no school tomorrow and it is always nice to spend time with her.
I know this is short, but some wounds are still open today and do not need salt added to them at all.
Talk to you later...
I have eaten really healthy today as usual. I actually feel really good, especially after I spent yesterday beating myself up mentally. It is a little crazy can send me back to those feelings of being inadequate that I grew up with and F did not mean to do that at all.
I hate leaving C, she has no school tomorrow and it is always nice to spend time with her.
I know this is short, but some wounds are still open today and do not need salt added to them at all.
Talk to you later...
Saturday, March 24, 2012
My husband always asks those thought provoking questions...weigh in results!
Today was weigh in day...and as every one who has been reading knows I was hoping to hit the triple digits this week....well....YEAH!!!!! I lost 5 more pounds to put the total at 100 pounds lost so far!!!!!!! God it feels good to have to type those three numbers to display my total weight loss!!!! I have a lot more to go, but in this moment I feel lighter than air!! In 5 1/2 months, I have found the inner strength not to give up or give in. I have started Yoga, something I would have never thought of doing 5 months ago. I can run up the stairs with out getting short of breath. I have gotten to the point that I can fly without having to worry about whether the seatbelt will buckle. I have faced temptations and challenges and holidays and not given in to the them not because I was making some huge sacrifice, but because my health was more important.
So on to the thought provoking question...F is great at being my rock and support system and after we celebrated this accomplishment, we started to talk about my next goal. I have over 100 pounds left to go to get to the goal weight that I have in mind. He asked "What are you going to do if you get close to your goal and the weight loss stops and it is something that no amount of exercise or cutting of calories can change?" So my first answer was that I would assess if I could be happy for the rest of my life with my body at that point. F said, "what if you aren't?" My response was then I would look into the plastic surgery to remove any excess skin, the research I have done says that I can expect to have up to 20 pounds of excess skin after I lose all the weight. I told him that I would do whatever was necessary to get the skin removed and then reassess if I could be happy with my body. F said, "and if you aren't?" I thought about that for few moments and said, "The I will see a psychologist, because then I would obviously have much deeper issues." That being said, I probably do have much deeper issues...I can honestly tell you that there are moments that I look in the mirror and do not see any difference in my body now versus 100 pounds ago. I can rationlize with myself that there must be differences because I am wearing smaller sized clothes and have more energy and can do all these different things, but inside there is this little voice that still says you are the same, you are still obese and that is what people see when they look at you...It is like the line from the Pink song "Change those voices in you head make them like you instead"
I am still working on that battle and maybe that is hardest change that I have to make in my life. The question is how do I do that when I have spent over 30 years beating myself up for being overweight? How do you heal that little girl inside of me that spent her childhood, loving school because she loved to learn but hating to go to school because she knew it would just another day of being teased and laughed at and humilated? I grew up, rose above it and became successful and I even forgave all of those that participated in that torture that I call "my childhood". They were kids too and they did not know that those words and deeds were causing scars to my soul. I have to figure out how to forgive myself now and realize that I am the person I am today because of those scars. I have a wonderful husband that loves me for me, a beautiful, healthy daughter that sees me as the most fabulous mom on the face of the earth, and pretty nice work life where people realize that I know what I am talking about most of the time. Friends that have stayed in my life even though I have moved hundreds away. Still there is always that self doubt, I have problems making new friends because I think I do not fit in. I can put on the social face, but I am uncomfortable going out with groups of people because somewhere deep down I feel like the group does not really want me around and that I am being judged for how I look on the outside. So no matter what the situation, in groups I always feel like I am on the outside looking in on the group.
Obviously I have more to work on both on the outside and the inside..
Enough deep provoking thoughts for one day...time to eat something and chill with my family...
Talk to you later.
So on to the thought provoking question...F is great at being my rock and support system and after we celebrated this accomplishment, we started to talk about my next goal. I have over 100 pounds left to go to get to the goal weight that I have in mind. He asked "What are you going to do if you get close to your goal and the weight loss stops and it is something that no amount of exercise or cutting of calories can change?" So my first answer was that I would assess if I could be happy for the rest of my life with my body at that point. F said, "what if you aren't?" My response was then I would look into the plastic surgery to remove any excess skin, the research I have done says that I can expect to have up to 20 pounds of excess skin after I lose all the weight. I told him that I would do whatever was necessary to get the skin removed and then reassess if I could be happy with my body. F said, "and if you aren't?" I thought about that for few moments and said, "The I will see a psychologist, because then I would obviously have much deeper issues." That being said, I probably do have much deeper issues...I can honestly tell you that there are moments that I look in the mirror and do not see any difference in my body now versus 100 pounds ago. I can rationlize with myself that there must be differences because I am wearing smaller sized clothes and have more energy and can do all these different things, but inside there is this little voice that still says you are the same, you are still obese and that is what people see when they look at you...It is like the line from the Pink song "Change those voices in you head make them like you instead"
I am still working on that battle and maybe that is hardest change that I have to make in my life. The question is how do I do that when I have spent over 30 years beating myself up for being overweight? How do you heal that little girl inside of me that spent her childhood, loving school because she loved to learn but hating to go to school because she knew it would just another day of being teased and laughed at and humilated? I grew up, rose above it and became successful and I even forgave all of those that participated in that torture that I call "my childhood". They were kids too and they did not know that those words and deeds were causing scars to my soul. I have to figure out how to forgive myself now and realize that I am the person I am today because of those scars. I have a wonderful husband that loves me for me, a beautiful, healthy daughter that sees me as the most fabulous mom on the face of the earth, and pretty nice work life where people realize that I know what I am talking about most of the time. Friends that have stayed in my life even though I have moved hundreds away. Still there is always that self doubt, I have problems making new friends because I think I do not fit in. I can put on the social face, but I am uncomfortable going out with groups of people because somewhere deep down I feel like the group does not really want me around and that I am being judged for how I look on the outside. So no matter what the situation, in groups I always feel like I am on the outside looking in on the group.
Obviously I have more to work on both on the outside and the inside..
Enough deep provoking thoughts for one day...time to eat something and chill with my family...
Talk to you later.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Hopeful but not expecting....
I am really hopeful that I will be able to pull off a 5 pound weight loss tomorrow and hit the 100 pound mark, but I am not expecting anything.
I saw Hunger Games last night and it was wonderful!!
I ended up so hyped after the movie that I did ntofall asleep until 5:30, which meant I was very tires today....I had a Vita-Top for breakfast...thanks to J for turning me on to them. For those, who are not familiar they are these high fiber muffin tops that are 100 calories...Nice to have some variation. I got the Banana Nut flavor, because that was all the Grocery store had, but I am also looking at the website. Some of the flovors sound really good..
Lunch was a bowl of Oatmeal...there is something abotu oatmeal in the middle of the day that makes me feel good. Dinner was turkey breast and vegetables....
Next week, I am back in CA and they are back to ordering meals...Yuck!! more temptation better load up on some Oatmeal and Kashi bars...
I will fill you in tomorrow regarding the weigh in...
Talk to you later.
I saw Hunger Games last night and it was wonderful!!
I ended up so hyped after the movie that I did ntofall asleep until 5:30, which meant I was very tires today....I had a Vita-Top for breakfast...thanks to J for turning me on to them. For those, who are not familiar they are these high fiber muffin tops that are 100 calories...Nice to have some variation. I got the Banana Nut flavor, because that was all the Grocery store had, but I am also looking at the website. Some of the flovors sound really good..
Lunch was a bowl of Oatmeal...there is something abotu oatmeal in the middle of the day that makes me feel good. Dinner was turkey breast and vegetables....
Next week, I am back in CA and they are back to ordering meals...Yuck!! more temptation better load up on some Oatmeal and Kashi bars...
I will fill you in tomorrow regarding the weigh in...
Talk to you later.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
I am sore but it is a nice sore
The day that followed my first Yoga class, was a day filled with mild soreness in my thighs, arms, abs, and butt. Not a bad sore, but that kind your muscles give you when you work them and they are reminding you that they actually exist. It was not debilitating just a small reminders..
My food was a little weird today, but I just went with it...I had a avocado for breakfast...I saw them and thought Yep that is breakfast. Lunch was a oatmeal..and salad.. Weird I know.. Dinner was left over chicken breast and veggies from last night.
I am going to see the Hunger Games...I loved the books and can not wait to see the movie. So I am staying up late to go to the Midnight showing. I have not done this since I had C 8 years ago. F is taking a nap right now, so he does not fall asleep in the theater.
Talk to you later.....
My food was a little weird today, but I just went with it...I had a avocado for breakfast...I saw them and thought Yep that is breakfast. Lunch was a oatmeal..and salad.. Weird I know.. Dinner was left over chicken breast and veggies from last night.
I am going to see the Hunger Games...I loved the books and can not wait to see the movie. So I am staying up late to go to the Midnight showing. I have not done this since I had C 8 years ago. F is taking a nap right now, so he does not fall asleep in the theater.
Talk to you later.....
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