The Good, The Bad, and the Downright Ugly!!!

I will start with my food and then go into the Good, Bad, and Ugly.  I had a Vita-Top Muffin and a tomato and some cherries.    Lunch was Avocado and tomatoes.  Dinner was Chicken and vegetables.

GOOD:  As I was working I got a call from the Physician office were I go to weigh in, I thought it was the typical reminder phone call but instead it was one of the physicians in the practice that was calling because they were doing chart reviews today and my file was pulled and he was so amazed by my progress that he had to call and congratulate me!!  I was shocked to say the least.  It was quite a little boost to my ego that is for sure.

BAD: So I came up with this  crazy idea to challenge myself by doing a Yoga class every day this week.  It has been hard to do it and not feel guilty because C has an evening soccer camp this week and I have to leave for portions of it in order to go to class.  I love watching her practice.  I stood out in the heat and humidity for about 45 minutes and then rushed off to yoga class.  My muscles were achy from two straight days of yoga and I was struggling but determined to meet my challenge and then about half way through class when the migraine started and I struggled even more to just get through the class.  I was so grateful for the end to come and to just lay there and try to relax.   Am I going to let this stop me from doing this again tomorrow?  No WAY!!!

Ugly:  So this is really two things that are very much related.  I have loose skin....I have lost a large amount of weight and I am not young with elastic skin...It is located on my thighs, arms and abdomen!!  I try not to focus on it, but it is very noticeable when I am doing yoga especially doing any thing like downward dog or table.  When I look in the mirrors in the studio I can see it just hanging there, but I refuse to were Spanxs to the yoga studio!!!   So this loose skin has another side effect, it is a breeding ground for bacteria especially my lower abdomen and I ended up with a skin infection.  It is ugly looking!!!  I went to the doctor today and she prescribed an antibiotic to take, but she warned that until I get to loose skin removed I am at risk for these kind of things!! ARGH!!  I know too much information right?  Well it can not all be sunshine and rainbows, this is the ugly side of losing alot of weight..... So today we started the record that will hopefully help me fight with the insurance company to get them to pay for the plastic surgery when  I finally get down to my goal weight!! 

Okay enough whining!!

Take care and talk to you later!!

A great yoga class and the shopping right before class

Today turned into a unprocessed food day for me, Breakfast was avocado, cucumber, and tomatoes.  Lunch was more cucumbers and tomatoes.  Dinner was chicken and veggies and for dessert cherries and grapes. 

So let me tell you about the day in between those healthy meals.  I spent the morning watching the olympics.   Around 3:00 pm, I went shopping mainly because I had a gift cheque that expired today that gave me $80 in free clothes.  So I decided to buy a couple more pairs of work pants.  I decided to try on pair of size 18 pants just to see how far away I was....and yep you can guess the rest the pants actually zipped up!!!  I bought the pants and then on a lark I decide to go to Express and try on some shirts....I pulled a large from the rack and headed to the dressing rooms.  I slipped the top on and it fit!!!!  WHAT!!! I can now shop at regular stores at least for tops!! I was so freaked out that I left the top at the store and headed out to my car to drive to Yoga saying to myself "I can wear a large at Express".... 

Yoga was fabulous.  It has been over 3 weeks since I have been to an actual Yoga class and I realized that I have missed it.  I loved stretching my muscles and testing my flexibilty.  I had lost some of my fleibility, but I am determined to get it back .

Well take care and talk to you later...

Another week down and another Weigh in...

So as I had a week of finding myself and realizing that I am more noticeable.  I faced the weigh in this week with confidence.  I stepped on the scale and was surprised beyond belief when it showed a 5 pound weight loss!!!  To make it even more memorable, it marked a total of 150 pounds lost!!!!  I feel like I could conquer the world right now. 

Plans for the day include a party with the soccer team to watch the US women's team play Columbia!! I am planning on bringing a Kashi bar along with me to survive the junk food that I am sure will be plentiful.  I need to go grocery shopping today and then I will just hang with the family and watch some more Olympics.  I am an Olympics freak!!!  I love watching premier athletes at thier best competing.  For me it is not about who wins or loses, it is about the pure competition!

So I will talk to you later...Take care!!

Have I been wearing an invisibility cloak?

For years I have felt invisible to the most of the outside world except my friends and family.  You know that person that is not attractive enough to garner any attention on the street.  No men turning their heads as I walk on by to check me out.  Like I was Harry Potter wearing his invisbility cloak to sneak off the grounds of Hogwarts...but in the last couple of days I have been feeling like I took that cloak off and it feels nice.  I have noticed little things like walking across the plaza at work and some guy waiting for me to get there to open the door.  I had a guy stop and try to start a conversation with me.   I had a girl that has never spoken to me before at work make a point this morning of telling me that she really liked the dress I wore at work yesterday.   I noticed that my strides are a little longer.  I stand a little taller.  Since I have taken the cloak off I do not ever intend to put it back on. 

My food today was pretty good.,...I had a no fat, no sugar added peach mango blue corn muffin for breakfast.  I had a chopped salad with lettuce, cucumber, peppers, shredded chicken and avocado.   Dinner tonight is oatmeal and some fresh strawberries.  

I spent some time today looking at some clothing store websites that I would love to shop at and noticing that I should fit into their XL.  That is a long way from where I was in October on the verge of being too big to get clothes from Lane Bryant!  I fly home tomorrow and I am looking forward to being back with F and C and most of all being able to get back into the Yoga routine.

Well talk to you later and take care. . 

Unexpected compliments are the best..

So I am LA this week and so far so good...For breakfast I had a Peach Apricot Low fat no sugar added scone this morning.  Lunch was my favorite Salmon and Grilled veggies.  Diner was more grilled veggies and a Kashi bar.  

So I wore a skirt to work for the first time today.  I had several people I work with tell me that it looked really nice.  I got out of the taxi this evening and the valet guys at the hotel told me that my shape was looking great now!!  Ahh...I think that was a come on line, but I thanked them and headed up to my room.  I stopped at the hotel restaurant to get some silverware for my dinner and the girl who works there made a point of telling me how fabulous I was looking and she asked me how much I have lost so far.  I gave her the total and one of the women at the bar said, "damn, how did you do it...I can not lose five pounds."  I talked to them for a little bit about what I have been doing and then the woman looked down at her french fries and said, "I guess you don't eat these huh."  I replied, "No".  She replied, " you are stronger than me!!"

I wish though that I felt more comfortable in my own skin sometimes...I see the flaws and the loose skin and judge myself so harshly.  I do not see the great looking person that other people see.  Why is that? 

I am looking forward to going back home and getting my yoga classes started again.  F and I are also joining a regular gym..Time to start doing some toning and cardio and starting to trian from that 5 K I want to run. 

Well time to watch some TV and chill out. 

Talk to you later. 

I went, I visited, and I conquered!!!! Weigh in results

So the official results are in and I lost 5.5 pounds during my two week adventure in Germany!!  To say I am thrilled would be an understatement!! While it was not hard work, it was just a little extra will power to resist some foods that looked really good but that I knew would not be good for me.  I owe part of this success to my in-laws who were all so accomodating and fabulous!!

My first breakfast back in my own house was avocado and tomato salad...YUM!!!

Talk to you later...have a great weekend!!!

Vielen Vielen Vielen Danke!!! I am finally home again...Long blog ahead

So first I must start my blog by thanking my family in Germany, who went out of their way to make sure that the healthy options were plentiful and wonderful tasting.  It made this adventure so much easier!!  So where to begin....

AIRPLANE FOOD!!!  ARGH!!!  Ok It was really good that I planned ahead and made sure that I had some Kashi bars available for my long flights, because airplane food is impossible!!!  We flew First Class to and from Germany.  I was hoping that there would be at least some healthy options, but alas it was not to be at all.  I ended up taking cheese off of salads and trying to trying to eat the salads with out the dressings that were offered.  My husband ended up getting 2 desserts and I sent back entrees after just eating the vegetables a bite or two of the protien. 

Once in Germany, things were much better..so let me start with the foods that I indulged in while I was there...I had 2 herring sandwiches...Hey do not knock it until you try one of my mother in law's yummy sandwiches on fresh bread!!!  I had a couple bites of Bratwurst and couple of bites of some fresh pretzels and a couple of glasses of wine that is about it...My mother in law and sister-in-laws and Tante R made wonderful vegetable options for me lunch and dinner and for breakfast I had my Oatmeal and fresh fruits and vegetables.  I got to try some grains that I have never tried before namely Bulgur...which by the way is FABULOUS!!!  C loved it too and it is definitely something that I will be making at home too. 

This is not to say there were not challenges and temptations along the way.  There were fabulous cakes and tortes that I resisted though my eyes and stomach were begging me  to indulge.   There was a fabulous pig that was cooked over an open flame that looked and smell fabulous. My favorite sausage Weisswurst called to me one morning. There was the day that we spent at a midevil festival and it seems that just like in the US in Germany festival food does not include any healthy options.  There was fabulous ice creams with flavors that sounded very yummy! The Konditeries and Bakeries had scents that wafted through the air and begged to have you consume the fresh baked breads and desserts. Not to mention the wonderful meats, spaetzel, and Potato Salad that my mother in law made that smelled enticing and my body remembered indulging in in the past. Last but certainly not least the challenge of resisting the beers, wines and coffee that I know taste wonderful..instead I drank alot of water and coke zero, that my father in law lovingly made sure were always available at the house.  But all in all, I made it through the these challenges feeling strong and  healthy! 

The flight home was a whole new challenge though....After making it though the long flight home where the healthiest option was a chicken breast with hollandaise sauce!!  ARGHH!!!  I had a Kashi bar and was looking forward to getting back home and having something healthy, but alas the travel gods decided that I needed a new and harder challenge!!!  Our flight home from Philly was delayed!!!  So our three hour layover turned into a 5 hour layover!!  I can hereby attest to the fact that the food options in Philly airport does not include healthy options!!  There were cheesesteaks, gyros, hot dogs, and fried foods galore but not a single healthy low fat option!!  At this point I was planning on having a weight watcher meal that I knew was in my freezer when I finally got home, but the travel gods laughed at my plans!!!  We sat on the tarmac for 3 hours waiting to take off and just as we were about to take off the pilot made the announcement that since we did not manage to take off in the last 15 minutes that the crew would be over the allowed the travel hours so we had to go back to the gate......we deplaned and went to the long line at the customer service center were another 2 hours were spent rebooking our flight and being told that they did not have any hotel rooms left to give out...Luckily status has some privileges...I was able to get a hotel room at a Marriott hotel in downtown Philly when most of the hotels were sold out!!  The airline will be getting the bill, but I am not optimistic that I will see any money!!  We got to the hotel about 1:00 am and the only options that were available Chinese or Pizza delivery or the 7-11 across the street.  F and I headed across the street to 7-11, stressed out and hungry.  I found a Fiber One bar and junk food a plenty for C and F.  I was so tempted in the that damn 7-11 to just buy chips, ice cream, and candy to deal with the stress, but I resisted thanks to F, who kept me sane. 

Breakfast this morning was some oatmeal that I still had left over from my travels and some fruit from the club lounges complimentary breakfast buffet.  We got home and even though it was pouring rain, I went out in a downpour and flooded streets to load up the fridge with something other than the chocolate that F and C brought home from Germany.  

So now for accomplishments!!! I climbed up a hill that in past I would not have been able to do at all and while the thin air got to me I was able to accomplish this task without feeling like I was dying.  I went to LegoLand in Germany and there was not a ride that I could  not ride.  2 years ago when we went to Disney, this was not the case!!  I walked around cities in Germany and never once felt tired or winded.  I conquered my fear of airplane bathrooms!!

Tomorrow I have to face the scale, but I do not care what it says I made the choices that were the best for me at the time and I made it through this experience feeling better about myself!!

Well that is all for now!!  I have missed you all!!!  Talk to you later!!!

Let the games begin

First let me start with weigh in results...I weighed in yesterday and lost 4.5 pounds...bringing the total to 139.5!!  I am using this as motivation to stay on the straight and narrow in Germany...

Speaking of Germany, we leave today.  I am anxious and excited.   I hoping that I am truly strong enough to stay on course while in Germany.

I am going to try and blog to let you know how it is going...

Please send good thoughts my way...

Talk to you later..

Happy 4th of July!!!

Sometimes it is just prespective...

SO yesterday I went on about all the faults with my new body...beating myself up...but today it was all about prespective.  F decided to come with me to return the dress I bought yesterday and we looked for a new dress and found two that looked great on me with out the spanxs....I only got one of them because the other one was such a dressy dress that I would have to buy tickets to the opera to wear but his mouth dropped open when I walked out in that dress...It made me feel fabulous...

Breakfast was a Vita top Cranberry Oat muffin.  Lunch was a Kashi bar while I worked and C watched TV, while the cleaning serivce that  F hired cleaned my house so that I do not have to stress about coming home to a mess.  Have I said lately what a great guy I am married to!!  Even at my heaviest F never made me feel anything but beautiful!! He has never used my weakness against me....He has always done the opposite and told me how absolutely beautiful he thinks I am....On top of all of that...he loves me enough to be honest when somethng does not look good on me, but in a nice sweet way.  He spoils me!! My husband says things like...you need a new Coach purse...a cute little one to travel with...like he did tonight and then he won't let me settle for the cheaper one that I do not love but will insist I get the one that made me smile..he loves to shop....I am so blessed..

Anyway back to food...I hade some chicken and vegetable...then F and I went shopping and had a date night.....

Talk to you later....hoping to go to yoga tomorrow...

Take Care...

Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I can not change

I am having to live this phrase right now...there are many things in my life that I can not change because they are things that involve other people and I have to accept that I can not make every one better and happy...I would if I could but it is just not possible.   What I eat and how I treat my body is something I can change, but how my body looks right now is not something that I can change and it is frustrating me to no end. Losing as much weight as I have lost so far leaves behind a body in transition, with lumps and bumps in places that I do not want them...some are caused by loose skin left behind and some are caused by body parts that seem to be resistant to letting go of its fat. 

I went shopping today and it was a like a punishing gaunlet of trying to feel good about myself and then looking in the mirror and seeing the flaws.  First...I have went from a Triple D breast size to a straight up D..I have always considered those to be my best assets and they are shrinking....ARGH...next lets talk about belly fat I have a waist but I have a pocket of stubborn belly fat above and loose skin and stubborn fat below...This makes finding a dress very hard.  I have tried Spanxs and other shapers but it does not make it look any better it... ARGH.  I know it is time for shorts but my thigh have some loose skin issues as well so the thought of wearing shorts is hard.  That leaves just the loose hanging skin on my upper arms, I refuse to wear long pants and long sleeves in the middle of summer so I am just living with it and wearing tanks anyway.  So there I have listed it all and while I will continue on my journey, these areas may get worse before they get better and it is quite possible that they may never get all better with out some plastic surgery, but I have got to accept that this is my body.  It is like it has been through a war...a war with obesity and these areas of my body have been on the front lines of a long hard fought battle.    They have been stretched and wounded but I am still fighting to get healthy.  I will love my body and all of its scars because they show me how far I have come. 

Breakfast was an Vitatop Muffin Cranberry Oat bran.  Lunch was cucumber and tomatoes salad, no dressing.   Dinner was some teriakyi chicken with vegetables with grapes for dessert. 

So there we are 3 days before I fly to Germany and I am hoping to have time every day to blog because I am hoping it will keep me sane food wise. 

Take care every one and thanks for giving me a place to find my serenity!!

Talk to you later.