Yoga Nidra..Love it!!!

As most of you know during this weight loss marathon, I found myself in yoga and I really mean that I found myself.  Yoga has become part of my life, not something that I just do for exercise but something that I can not see my life without.  I love the accomplishment I feel when I can finally get into that pose that I could imagine doing a couple of months ago. I relish the inner peace that I find in those last few minutes of a session when is Shavasana and my mind is quiet.  So I was excited when my studio offered a one time class called Deep Relaxation through Yoga Nidra.  I am such a Type A personality that there are very few times that I feel like I can truly relax.  I usually have my mind racing a mile a minute.

I went to the class last night not knowing what to expect and had an experience that is hard to put into words but I am going to try and I hope that I can do it justice.   First let me say that the class was taught by one of my favorite instructors Brooke.   I have missed going to a Brooke class but her classes ore on the same nights as C's soccer practice and the time just does not work.  We started class with her explaining that Yoga Nidra is about achieving a level of relaxation deeper that REM sleep, but while awake and that it is used in conjunction with creating intentions and goals in your life and using this state to achieve those goals.  The class then moved into some gentle, restorative yoga which was all about lightly stretching and preparing your body for this guided deep relaxation.  Once we got the the Yoga Nidra part, you are laying on your back with your neck supported and then we were guided in to focusing on different parts of our bodies and allowing them to relax.  As I was focusing on each area, I began to feel a tingling sensation, almost like a small electrical current in that part of my body and when I moved to the next area that tingling feeling remained behind but also traveled to the next area.  In the end my entire body felt totally relaxed but was tingling and alive and at that moment I felt like anything was possble.   When she led us out and we began to "awaken" again, the tingling feeling lessened but it did not go away.  Even when the lights turned on and put away my blocks, blanket, and bolster, my body still had that tingling feeling.  It continued throughout the rest of the evening and when I finally went to sleep I was able to just lay down a sleep.  That is not something that ever happens for me, I am usually the person that for an hour fights sleep as my mind races thinking about the long list in my head.   I would seriously take this course every month if I could, sadly right now it is just a one time class. There is another class in a couple of weeks that is about Achieving Goals that incorporates Yoga Nidra, but as much as I want to take the course it is at the same time as C's Soccer game. 

My food intake this week has been good.  Today C had a half day at school, so we made cookies when she came home.  It was a fun experience for both of us and I was amazed that I was not even tempted to have one. 

Tomorrow I weigh in and I am feel like I am still fighting that plateau but I know that even if  the scale does not move this week, that I am still doing the right things and eventually I will come out of the plateau and I will be stronger on the other side. 

Take care and talk to you tomorrow....

I hate when work interfers with my yoga..

For the last two days, I have planned exercise and then had work come along and interfer so I could not go....This frustrates me to no end and the worse part is that they did not really need me for either phone conference but I had to attend.  ARGH!!!!

Tomorrow I am going to a special yoga class called Yoga Nidra all about achieving that state of total relaxation while awake and turning off your brain.  I desperately need to learn this skill since I am one of those Type A people that have problems falling asleep because of my mind is racing.

Food has been boring, but I wanted to share something...I love the Vita-Top Muffin, the Cranberry Oat bran is a particular favorite, so when I saw the Egg sandwiches (like egg Mcmuffin) I had to try them.  Now I wish had resisted that temptation because after one bite I knew this was an Epic fail....  I blame the fake cheese.  It just had the wrong taste and did not sit well.  Needless to say I was not wasting my preious calories on that, so I disposed of it and popped the Cranberry Oat Bran Muffin in the toaster.  Yum!!!

Well today was a long day and I am tired...

Talk to you later...

No runners' high for me...

I lived up to my goal for this week and went walking during C's soccer practice.  She practices at a park that has a 2 mile long track going around it.  I was tempted at first not to go because I had a headache and my thighs were sore from yoga the day before, but after 3 minutes of trying to justify to myself why I should not feel guilty about not doing what I said I would do here.  I realized that I was just making excuses like I have for years why I can't exercise, you know the "no time, just ate, too tired, so many other things to do, too late in the day etc etc....", so I stuck those earphones in my ears, turned on the music and just started power walking.  I did not know at the time that the track was 2 miles long.  I just kept going and going and going, hoping that I would hit that point were I would feel that high, but alas no such luck.  When I finished the track, I was not out of breath, though I was quite sweaty. So I guess this is my baseline power walking/running.  Now I need to work on setting goals for improving it and mixing jogging/running into the power walking.  My legs were definitely sore this morning but nothing that a little motrin could not help. 

The good news, I probably could have handled another walk around the track and since a 5K is 3.1 miles I really think I could walk one right now no problem.  But the goal was not to walk a 5K it was to RUN a 5K.  So I need to get there.  I do not think I will ever love running.  Right now I am thinking of it as being a necessary evil...does that make sense?   Not something I like to do but something I have to do for my body!! 

Eating was pretty boring yesterday, Breakfast was a Vitatop muffin and grapes, Lunch was a Kashi bar and a tomato/avocado salad (no dressing), dinner was teriakyi chicken.  I had made Chili for my family and actually made it as healthy as possible, but I did not want the red meat. 

Well time for me to work...Take Care and talk at you later.

Making plans to fight the plateau and looking to the week ahead

I will not give up or let a plateau defeat me...this is a bump in the road and I am making plans on how to defeat this plateau.  First is to increase my activity...really this is my only choice because I really can not decrease my calories or else I may send my body into a starvation mode which would cause my body to stop burning fat and instead hold on to it....I am going to increase mywater intake as well in hope to flush my system. Last but not least, I am not going to analyze and worry about everything because that stress would just increase my body's tendancy to hold on to the weight, since stress increases weight gain. 

In addition I am going to try the Dr. Oz. recommended supplement of Green Coffee Extract.  I will let you know if it works.

Yoga was hard tonight, the usual instructor is off getting married, so we had a substitute and she did not play any music, did a lot of strap work and loved to try and get us into weird positions all the while using the yogi terms instead of the translation...all in all it was a very hard class and not really relaxing, 

I had a vita top muffin, and avocado for breakfast.  Lunch was tomato and Kashi bar..I then went to C and T's house and watched football.  I love hanging out with C she is so much fun.  She says to me "you know you have lost me" I looked at her like "what" and then realized that she meant weight wise....That is amazing that I have lost entire adult!!!  I ran to yoga from there house and had chicken and veggies when I got home.  Now I am cleaning and trying to get the family ready for the week ahead. 

Take Care and have a great week!!!

Afraid fo the Plateau...

Well I did not lose any weight this week and this followed a week when I only lost  1/2 pound.  I am afraid that this is my plateau that I am going have to get past...but I have a plan.  First is to increase the exercise.  I am going to walk the track when C is at soccer practice.  C's practice lasts an hour and half so I figure if I walk the track for an hour alternating between jogging and power walking I should burn a good amoutn of calories.  I am going to work in an extra Yoga class on Friday mornings as well, that way I am getting exerise everyday.  We will see if this makes a difference,

My life always has to have a little excitement right?  Yesterday I got the pleasure of standing next to a celebrity (LOL) while going through security at the airport...I spent my time trying to make sure I was not in any of the paparazzi shots.  Today I got to step back into my ER nurse mode and respond to someone having chest pain, not exactly how I wanted to start my weekend. 

I will let you know how my plans to defeat the plateau go....It just seems like my body knew it turned 40 and decided to turn off the weight loss machine.  ARGH!!!


Okay time to chill with my husband,,,

Talk to you later.

Catch up time.weight loss, shopping, my last flight, and being booblicious

Sorry it has been a couple of days since I blogged...I was busy working, playing, and shopping.  Lets start with weight loss...I only loss 1/2 pound this week (Total 161 pounds lost)  but really I lost weight so I am happy. I love the fact the scale keeps going down.  I have been eating well, lots of vegetables, fruit, whole grains, and lean proteins but nothing really remarkable. Yoga classes were fabulous, I would love to go to more classes, but between working and C's numerous after school activities it is a struggle some times.

I went shopping this Saturday after spending a day on the soccer field for C's first game (they lost 7-3 and she was upset but that would need to be a different blog).  So I have to tell you I had FUN shopping.  I was able to go to stores like Guess and fit in to and buy tops at least.  I am about 20 pounds away from fitting into pants and skirts at those stores but still it was fun.  The customer service is a amazing at these stores and the workers made me feel like I belonged there.   In the past when I went into stores like this, no one would have talked me or they would have asked are you looking for a gift for someone.  The nice way to say, "you are not going to fit into anything in our store, but..."  I bought 5 different tops and each one of them I loved how it made my body look.  Yeah for finding my love of shopping again and my love for trying things on.....

My flight.....I have this really bad habit of staying up the night before I fly getting packed and organized for the day ahead and then as soon as the plane takes off and hits 10,000 feet, the earphones go in, the music from my phone goes on and I sleep through the whole flight.  I usually wake up about 20 minutes before we are going to land and eat a Kashi bar and then I hit the ground running for work.  Yesterday started the same way, but sadly everything went awry after that due to my seatmate.  He was a ery large guy and went partially on to my seat.  I probably the most sympathetic to some one in this situation so I jus scooted over a little to give him more room and got ready to hit 10 thousand feet.  I started to fall asleep, but sadly so did the guy next to me, but he had the issue that he was a major snorer and I do not mean a normal snorer I mean an open mouth, sleep apnea, loud obnoxious snorer!!  Loud enough that it penetrated my music and woke me up.  I spent the whole 4 hours listening to this man snore and trying to sleep.  ARGH. The last 20 minutes of the flight I really had to go to the bathroom but I could not get this guy to wake up enough to let me out and I could get around him due to his size.  I ran off the plane to the nearest bathroom......It is also why this blog is so late because I was exhausted when I got back to the hotel and I fell asleep pretty early but I also woke up really early!!

Being boobilicious.....I was wearing on of my new camis under a sweater for work.  Between the new bras that fit and the new cami, I guess my cleavage was more pronounced because one of my co-workers told me that I was looking boobilicious.   When she said it I felt slightly self concious, but then I looked around and my dress matched the majority of the women I worked with and my boobilicious status was only noticeable because I was wearing clothes that fit me and with losing so much weight I actually have an hour glass shape now because my waist is more defined and that too emphasizes my chest....I then felt beautiful and boobilicious..

Well it is time to sign off and rest some more before I get up for work...talk to you later.  We are going out to lunch today at work to a restaurant that has absolutely NO nutritional information aailable for its menu and that really annoys me, because calorie content of restaurant food is so hard to determine because you can not be sure how it is cooked and the portion sizes are usually quite large and really represent 2 or 3 normal portion sizes....I will let you know how it goes and what I have.....Take care..

I love my new hot pants....want to see....

 

NO!!!!  Not that kind of Hot Pants!!!  Are you crazy??  I won't even wear regular shorts yet!!

These kind of Hot Pants made by a company called Zaggora, and they claim that if these pants are worn during regular exercise that you can lose 4 times more weight than if you wear standard workout pants and in addition they are also supposed to help lose inches.  I saw the ad on Group-on for these pants and they intrigued me so I used the Group-on deal and purchased a pair, but I have to admit I am totally skeptical that these pants will make any kind of difference. They are made by a company in England so it took awhile to get them.  I wore them today while working at home and  running C here and there, my legs felt like they were warmer.  I will have to try them at yoga tomorrow.   I am taking their 2 week challenge of wearing them every day for at least 30 minutes a day, to see if I find the increase in weight loss and inches.  My first impression they are thicker than most workout clothes, which I am concerned about impacting my ability to move in yoga.  The other really noticable thing, is that they are incredibly loud when I walk, kind of like corduroy pants and my thighs rub together anyway so it is noticable to me.

I had a Kashi Bar and grapes from breakfast.  Lunch was a vitatop muffin, an avocado, and a tomato, and dinner was chicken and veggies. 

I had a conversation with J today regarding her motivation to be healthy and I hope my prespective helped her.  It is always amazing to me that I, the girl/woman that has been overweight her whole life and was always looking for the quick fix, could be the motivation for people to change their lives.  I was always looking for someone to motivate me to change and to be someones motivation is amazing.  

I posted this song on face book this morning and described how it represents to me the imaginary conversation between the strong, healthy woman that was begging to get out and the sad overweight woman that I had become.... so enjoy

Let me be myself by 3 Doors Down

Talk to you later.....and take care!!

Happy Early Birthday to me....

I weighed in today and I got myself the gift of losing 160.5 pounds before I turned 40....YEAH!!!  Happy Birthday to me...

I love the fact that I am a totally different person than I was for my birthday last year..Last year this time, I was out of control eating foods that were bad for me and eating fast food everyday and exercise was a word I never used or did.  This year I have not had fast food in almost a year vegetables and fruits are friends.  I eat high fiber foods and lean proteins.  I avoid processed foods and refined sugars.  Yoga has become my exercise of choice and I have increased my strength and flexibility.  I have energy to spare most days.  I am searching for the perfect 5K.  I no longer get winded running up the stairs.  I am more comfortable in my own skin. 

What does all this mean for me?  That as much as I am not looking forward to turning the big 4-0 tomorrow, I am determined that my 40's are going to be the most healthy of my life.  So come on 40's, you and me are going to be fast friends and face this life with a healthy outlook. 

So Happy Birthday to ME.....Thanks Crystal this is just what I wanted, a new look, a new body, and new LIFE!! 

Take Care Everyone....Talk to you later...

Why are women judged so harshly.....

You can probably tell tonight is going to be one of those blogs where I rant a little and yes it is issue that is close to my heart...how women are judged!!! 

I will start with my food today..I had a strawberry peach non fat no sugar Oat bran muffin.  Lunch was Salmon and grilled veggies.  Dinner was a tomato and a weigh watcher meal...I know boring right...I just did not feel like eating out tonight. I really want to curl up and throw the covers over my head and think about how it sucks to be judged sometimes....

We are all judged every now and then...whether it is work, home, or something as simple as what we eat, wear, or how we do our hair.  Some of these are favorable judgements and some are not so favorable. It seems to me sometimes that women are judged more harshly than our male counterparts and it has been this way throughout time. 

I struggled with these judgement issues all my life when dealing with my weight issues...there is a reason why the diet industry focuses on women....Overweight women are made to feel unattractive by our society.  Things are said like "She would be so cute if she only lost some weight"   Overweight girls struggle with finding a guy who can appreciate her curves.  Female celebrities are plastered on the front page of tabloids when they gain weight.  Where as over weight guys do not seem to struggle with these same issues, the exception being the gay community but that is a different topic all together..  I remember feeling like such an outcast throughout highschool, because I did not have a boyfriend, but the over weight guys I went to school with did not seem to have any problems getting a girl.   I was lucky and found a guy that loved me for who I was not how much I weighed, so they are out there but few and far between.  Is it any wonder that tween girls are fasted growing group that are becoming anorexic?  The sad part is for women this judgement leads to self loathing which leads to eating which leads to gaining more weight.  It is a vicious cycle. 

Sadly, weight is not the only area in our lives where we are judged....and sadly it is not just the opposite sex that participates in the judging!!  Over the last 2 years I have not only faced judgements about my weight, but also about my career and family.... The fact that I travel and work away from home as part of my career has led many to judge me to be a "bad" mother and wife.  Things are said to me like "At least I stay home and take care of my children instead of galivanting off to California!!" or "It easy to be a perceived as a good mom when you are rarely home."  Okay if a guy traveled for his job, whether he is a truck driver that does long distance driving, a CEO that has to travel for his business, or a consultant like me, he is viewed to be doing what is necessary to provide for his family and therefore a good provider, husband, and father, yet as a working woman and business owner I am viewed as a lousy absentee mother and wife that cares more about my career than my family.  This leads to me feeling guilty about being gone and in the past I would feed this guilt with food, but not anymore!!  I have broken this cycle!!  So instead of feeling guilty, I am going to confront those judgements right here tonight!!!  I am a DAMN good mother and wife!!  Everything I do is for my family and making sure we have the best life possible!!  I work my ass off and yes part of my job involves having to get on a plane and travel across the country, but guess what???   I make sure my family is taken care of even when I am thousand of miles away!!  My family has always come first to me!   In fact, I think that I am being a great example for my young daughter, I am showing her that a woman can be successful business woman and a mother.  If you think that my job makes me a bad mother or wife or any other label that you want to put on me than please keep it to yourself, because the next person that says this about me will see a side of me that they do not want me to see.

Now that I have ranted, I have to say that I am also very blessed that I have people in my life that support me and are proud of my every accomplishment, whether it is my weight loss or my career...and these friends and family members are the people that know me better than everyone.  I am grateful for every single one of them and listing them would take forever and they remind me that those people that judge others for what ever reason, whether it is weight, career, or hairstyle are usually doing it because of jealousy or desire to make themselves feel better about their life and choices.  Fighting that is impossible, so the better tact is to ignore the haters and let them be miserable. The best revenge is to enjoy your life right? 

Rant over...take care of yourself and be happy in your own skin...I am learning how to do that every day!!!

Time to catch up...Hurricane, family visit, and back to work and looking ahead to the big 4-0

So I left off with a storm blowing into town and preparing for no power and it is a good thing that I prepared because we were without power for 4 days that I was home.   I had lots of Kashi bars and at night we would plug in the generator and I would have a weight watcher frozen dinner cooked in the microwave.  When I was at the breaking point, it was time for me to fly to Portland for a planned visit to see my Grandmother who is 95.  I stayed with Uncle D and G and I could not have asked for better hosts that took care of C and I while visited. 

It was so nice to see everyone and to feel comfortable in my own skin, not have that feeling like everyone was biting their tongue not to say something about how out of control my weight was because they did not want to hurt my feelings.  I loved Portland and seeing the town.  Beyond the party filled with relatives that I have not seen in forever, I got to see a little of Portland as we went to the Saturday Market and walked around.  It was so good to be able to walk around and not feel tired and sluggish.  I am so blessed that I made this decision to get healthy.

Luckily while I was gone we got power back.  I had felt so guilty leaving F behind in a house with no power.  I got in around 9:00 pm monday and it was a quick turn around of unpacking, laundry, and repacking to fly out to Los Angeles for work on Tuesday.  C is still out of school, but luckily we have established a great support system so F is able to go to work without dealing with having an 8 year old with him.

I am turning 40 on Sunday, my goal is to be at 160 pounds lost for my birthday present to myself. What better present is there than to be healthy and it is a gift that I can only give myself.  Noone could have made this journey for me.  I had to do it and I had to make the decision almost a year ago that my health was more important than anything else I could ever want or need.  I will go and weigh in on Saturday, but whether I meet my goal or not I have made huge strides to ensuring that I have many more birthdays to celebrate with F and C by my side. I have found an inner strength that I did not know I had and has become such an intergral part of me.  While it would be tempting to go splurge on food on my birthday, instead I am planning on going to yoga.  Nothing better than a little inner peace as I go through the transitition to being 40 right? 

Well time to get some work done. 

Talk to you later....take care...