How many idiot MDs are in this flipping town!???!!!!! Rating PG13 due to strong language

So let me start by saying if you are offended by strong language then by all means skip this post!  I am mad beyond belief right now and I have to get these feelings out because the other option is to hold the anger and hurt in and fill the hole in my self esteem with food.  I do not want to do that so I am letting all my anger out here, because this is my safe place!

I moved farther south 3 years ago and the summer after our first year here, I developed allergies beyond belief. one of my symptoms was asthma. I am supposed to get allergies shots but they have to wait until I am in town more.  This summer F,C, and I went on a cruise to the Mexico, Belize, and Honduras and while I was on vacation my asthma was great.  I was snorkeling and swimming having no issues.  We got back in town and within 2 days,  my asthma got so bad that I literally had to have F call 911 because I could not get a good breath in no matter what I tried.  I went to the ED and was admitted to the hospital to get my asthma attack under control.  After I was discharged, my primary care MD felt that I should see a pulmonologist.  I saw Dr. G and a resident 3 months ago and Dr. G adjusted some meds to help the asthma symptoms.  So today, I had to go for a check up with the pulmonologist. Dr. G was not there, but I saw her resident. They weighed me and according to their scale  I lost 6 pounds this week, but since they are different I am still waitng for tomorrow for the official number but I was feeling good. We talked about how my symptoms have improved in the last 3 months. I mentioned that I am making lifestyle changes to lose weight.  She looked at my chart and said, "yeah you have lost 20 since you were here last".  I told her my weight loss has really been in the last month. Anyway, she leaves and comes back with  another MD.  I am assuming he is the Attending MD working today.  So for the rest of this blog, he will be referred to as the Attending Ass or AA for short, because he was a total asshole to me and treated me like shit. 

So in walks Attending Ass and says I hear that the changes that Dr. G made to yoru regimen has helped.  I say that it has and that I feel in better control of the asthma. He immediately says, "yeah that is just one part of it.  So you need to have a Bypass to lose the weight too"  What the fuck!!!  I point out that I realize that I need to lose weight and have been making life changes and that I have lost over 20 pounds in a month.  Attending Ass responds back, "people like you are not able to control yourselves and you need to consider having the bypass done"  I wanted to say  "Fuck you and people like you!  You judgemental ass"  But instead I told him that, "I disagree that havign surgery is the only options and that I have seen people who have had the surgery and had horrible outcomes even death"  I tell him that Gastric Bypass is not a soluntion to the issue, because people have it done, lose the weight and gain it back!! Look at Carnie Wilson as a perfect example.  I have been having alot of success changing my eating habits"  Attending Ass then says "well you need to go on one of those programs like Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem were they send you food and that is all you eat. I found that people like you need that"  Again I want to scream FUCK YOU!!, but I really do not want them calling hospital security to take me out, because at this point I am so mad and hurt that I really seriously could have jumped off the table, punched him in the fucking mouth and kicked in the balls. Through clenched teeth, I said, "I understand that is your opinion, but i have found that those programs do not teach how to eat in the real world and once you lose the weight you have no clue how to make you own meals and go back to bad habits. Again look at some of their spokespeople like Kirstie Alley."  I am done at this point, I have mentally shut down, I do not want to be in that room any more and I am feeling beat up by the medical professionals that are supposed to be supportive of patients that are making changes in thier lives.  They could have told me at this point that they have discovered the cure to asthma and I would not have cared!!  I felt targeted and not listened to at all!  He shook my hand and left.   The resident, who at this point I do not know if she knew what was going to be said, asked me to hang on a second so she could get me a prescription for a peak flow and an asthma action plan.  I grabbed my purse and hung out at the door, because the room had become claustraphobic, and I was tearing up so I wanted to be able to bolt as soon as I had the script because I was not going to let them see that  Attending Ass made me cry.  I don't cry in public.  I texted F as I waited, she came back and handed me the prescription. She said, I will see you in 6 months and I am thinking,  "yeah like I want to come back and hear more things about "people like me".  I may go back to there but I will demand a day that Dr. G is working....I will not see Attending Ass again, except to have him come in my room and apologize when I prove 6 months from know that he does not what the FUCK he is talking about" 

I left there and called F, he tried to talk me down, because I think he could tell I was on that food ledge.  That one that if I stepped over would have meant pulling my car into the drive through of McDonalds and ordering everything including super sized fries, a large Milkshake, and even one of those crappy pies and proving Attending Ass right.  Food can be a comfort thing and I needed comforting.. Instead, I trained my sights on getting through the intersection and trained on picking C up from school.  I got C and headed home to blog and get these feelings out.  I am avoiding the kitchan all together right now. I hope I have not bored you all with my rant...

So just to update what I had to eat, I had Kashi cereal for breakfast and protien bar for lunch.  I am not at the point yet that I can go into the kitchen, but I will have something healthy for dinner.

Thanks for listening..Talk to you later.