I am having to live this phrase right now...there are many things in my life that I can not change because they are things that involve other people and I have to accept that I can not make every one better and happy...I would if I could but it is just not possible. What I eat and how I treat my body is something I can change, but how my body looks right now is not something that I can change and it is frustrating me to no end. Losing as much weight as I have lost so far leaves behind a body in transition, with lumps and bumps in places that I do not want them...some are caused by loose skin left behind and some are caused by body parts that seem to be resistant to letting go of its fat.
I went shopping today and it was a like a punishing gaunlet of trying to feel good about myself and then looking in the mirror and seeing the flaws. First...I have went from a Triple D breast size to a straight up D..I have always considered those to be my best assets and they are shrinking....ARGH...next lets talk about belly fat I have a waist but I have a pocket of stubborn belly fat above and loose skin and stubborn fat below...This makes finding a dress very hard. I have tried Spanxs and other shapers but it does not make it look any better it... ARGH. I know it is time for shorts but my thigh have some loose skin issues as well so the thought of wearing shorts is hard. That leaves just the loose hanging skin on my upper arms, I refuse to wear long pants and long sleeves in the middle of summer so I am just living with it and wearing tanks anyway. So there I have listed it all and while I will continue on my journey, these areas may get worse before they get better and it is quite possible that they may never get all better with out some plastic surgery, but I have got to accept that this is my body. It is like it has been through a war...a war with obesity and these areas of my body have been on the front lines of a long hard fought battle. They have been stretched and wounded but I am still fighting to get healthy. I will love my body and all of its scars because they show me how far I have come.
Breakfast was an Vitatop Muffin Cranberry Oat bran. Lunch was cucumber and tomatoes salad, no dressing. Dinner was some teriakyi chicken with vegetables with grapes for dessert.
So there we are 3 days before I fly to Germany and I am hoping to have time every day to blog because I am hoping it will keep me sane food wise.
Take care every one and thanks for giving me a place to find my serenity!!
Talk to you later.
No comments:
Post a Comment