Yeah that should do it. I am really looking at this last 3 months as being a major detoxification and rehabilitation program. Now my body is free of this junk and I no longer crave this junk. So now it is all about continuing to live my life free of this addiction. The question that I am facing right now, is does this mean that I can never have this food again or will I someday be able to have it in moderation? I am nowhere ready to try it and see if I can handle moderation, I still consider this type of food and fast food to be my "gateway drug". That once I have a little, the binge that will follow will be downward spiral, especially if I had some and still managed to lose weight.
On to Phase 2....so the plan was always that I lose weight but that is only Phase 1 of the plan. Because just losing the weight is not enough, in order to truly be healthy I need to be active and strength my body. Because you can be skinny and not healthy, so this means the much dreaded exercise.
Yeah I am not an athlete!!! I do NOT like to go to the gym and lift weights and run on a treadmill, stepper, or glider. When I have tried a gym in the past, I spend the time on the machines and treadmill thinking about all the things that I could be doing that I would enjoy so much more or thinking about work and other things that I need to get done. I usually last about a month at the gym before I start coming up with reasons not to go!! There is also tht self-esteem issue that comes from being surrounded by people that look like they have never had a weight issue and feeling like a beached whale in comparison. It is really hard to voluntarily put myself through that and be happy and enthused about it. In addition, I look like a walking disaster in an aerobics class. If someone taped me, I am sure it would be a instant winner on America's Funniest Home Videos!! Swimming right now is not an option, because just the thought of having to put on bathing suit and be seen by anyone is enough to send me under the blankets in my bed. Yeah I know that these are excuses, but I have to put them out there and face them to make the change right. SO I HATE EXERCISE!!!
That said I need to get fit and I want to look outside the Gym box to get started. Walking is part of the plan, because I can do it anywhere I am at and it does not cost anything. Since I am planning on doing the 5K I have got to start walking and build up that ability. It is a great cardiovascular exercise, but it does very little for my core muscles. I know my core sucks, it has been insulated in fat for so long that I am sure the muscles underneath have starved for activity. So I am going to try yoga! Yeah you heard me Yoga! I found a studio close not far from where I live and the website with the instructors sound like they are knowledgable about making modifications to the poses for overweight people. I am hoping that trying this will have a multi layer affect of one strengthing my core and improving my flexibility while also allowing me to find that mental balance that they say come with yoga. I live in stress constantly and do not know how to turn off my brain ever, which is why I live on about 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night. I am hoping to find a way to turn that off. When I do it, I want to buy a package because if I spend the money the guilt of wasting it would make me use the classes. I do not want to do one class and then say nope not for me because that is too easy an excuse. I have a friend CH down here who says that, she is willing to go with me. More motivation to go, because I do not want to let people down. The same studio also has a belly dancing class...which is intriguing to me because I always wanted to look like Shakira!! Maybe I will give it a shot once I have gotten my core strengthened a little. It was funny I was talking to someone about doing Yoga and C heard me and started begging to do yoga too. She had seen it in some show and wants to try it. I will have to check for a kids course. The Yoga is going to have to wait until Mid-March because my travel schedule over the next month and half is crazy!! Between prep for go-live and the actual go live I will spend more time in Cali then I do at home. YUCK!! So something to look forward to is that as soon as go-live is over I am signing up for Yoga!! Wish me luck!! I am also considering hiring a personal trainer for a 8 weeks once I am ready for regular exercise...you know someone to kick my butt and bug me when I try not to go to the gym. I would love to have Bob Harper or Jillian Michaels, from the Biggest Loser, but I can not afford them and this is not going to be someone that I can just pick out of phonebook. I need to interview them and tell them what I need. Any body who is, knows about, or has ever had a personal trainer , please feel free to give me advise.
Breakfast was a smoothie, lunch was salad and V-8 juice, and dinner is lord knwos what!! C has dance class tonight and I have a hour conference call all around that time frame. 2 hour conference calls should be banned as unhealthy!! So I will have to eat when I get home after 8:00 pm. But whatever I come up with will be healthy...
Talk to later....
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