Yesterday's blog was a hard one for me that came with lots of emotional baggage. To expose my starting weight for me was like those dreams you used to have where you show up for school and realize you are naked. The humiliation that comes from a number is amazing. I am such a Type A person and usually in control of everything around me and to admit in black and white that I was so totally out of control with my eating was a reflection that no matter what kind of face I was putting on my life that I was not in control for many years. Instead of expressing my anger, sadness, or stress, I was eating it into submission. So the question, I must face today is how am I dealing differently with those same emotions that I used to eat away and for me right now I think Yoga is my saving grace. Those classes allow me to let go of those emotions on the yoga mat. I can see yoga becoming something that I need to do for the rest of my life.
I was sitting in a chair today and crossed my legs, and I realized that I was able to cross my legs properly. It hit me that for years I have not crossed my legs, because it was not comfortable. They did not fit together right, but today they fit. It was this ability that gave me that sense of feminitity back. It is very hard when you are looking like an NFL Defensive tackle in a dress sitting with your legs slightly apart to feel very feminine. It is the little things that make a difference.
I have a busy week ahead of me, between work and the final preparations for C's dance recital. Thankfully fellow dance mom J is helping me to stay sane.
So food today consisted of an Avacado for breakfast, Kashi bar for lunch, and low fat sweet and sour chicken for dinner. I resisted the chips and Salsa at the Dance party today. All in All a pretty good day.
Take Care and talk to you later!!!
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